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 Christianity - Christian
 Born Again Christians
 dealing with p**nography addiction
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1gretefulgurl
Midshipman

USA
1 Posts

Posted - 25 Apr 2008 :  11:35:28  Show Profile  Email Poster  Reply with Quote
I have been married almost 6 years, and 4 of those have been spent dealing with my husband's addiction to p**n. This has left me lost and beat down. I feel so tired of fighting. He just keeps on and I feel so sick. Like I'm a perv because I know where he's been. I have a blocker only I have access to, but he still finds a way to see stuff. And he says he can't tell me because I freak out, but I've only found out every time, caught him, months and months after the fact. And everytime he swears he won't do it again, but here I am feeling....almost cheated on. I've told every secret no matter how stupid, or embarassing, but still even though this has killed my self-esteem, and he knows that I don't know how to deal. please if anyone feels this way or has advice e-mail. thanks and God bless!!!

maffio
Lieutenant

Australia
28 Posts

Posted - 26 Apr 2008 :  06:35:25  Show Profile  Email Poster  Reply with Quote
A good book 4 him to read would be every mans battle. This will really helphim as it addresses alot of these issues

__________
LUKE 16:10
those who are faithful in the small things god will trust in the big things!
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Kevin
Commander

Australia
115 Posts

Posted - 26 Apr 2008 :  13:05:43  Show Profile  Email Poster  Reply with Quote
Addiction to p**nography can be stressfull not only to loved ones of the addict, but to the person concerned. Meaning that for them it's a constant coverup to try and hide the problem and cover their tracks, as mentioned by the lady above.
The person concerned has to come to terms with and realise they have a problem, and until that happens it goes on.

I'll pray for you both tonight 1gretefulgurl.
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Impulse
Midshipman

4 Posts

Posted - 27 Aug 2008 :  15:58:40  Show Profile  Email Poster  Reply with Quote
You should assert yourself, have a discussion, be honest, but also you should help him by satisfying his need for action.

I heard somewhere that if you keep the relationship interesting, things might change. Surprise him, do something a little crazy, (nothing taboo) that will more then likely distract him from what it pretty mundane. A second honeymoon maybe?

A night out with out the kids? Just do something unexpected once in a while. It should be mutually energizing. (and no, I'm not talking about sex, but considering how you're married, you could probably consider that a viable option..)
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oldwind
Midshipman

Australia
5 Posts

Posted - 08 Nov 2008 :  22:02:23  Show Profile  Email Poster  Reply with Quote
He has a need, you don't fulfill it so he finds other ways to fullfill his needs.
You fighting it makes you the enemy.
options
1. leave
2. continue as is
3. satisfy him again and again and regain your power over him, don't stop him just divert him he will stop himself eventually

option 3 is the toughest but best option
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trisho
Midshipman

Canada
7 Posts

Posted - 28 Feb 2013 :  14:39:56  Show Profile  Email Poster  Reply with Quote
I'm sorry I have to disagree with some of the advise being given. I believe the best thing you can do is leave. What he has is a sexual addiction and like any addiction the addict must face the consequences. Right now there really is no reason for him to quit, threatening to leave will not work if you have already done this and not followed through with it. You must take legal action, let him understand that you love him but you cannot stand by and watch him destroy his life, commend him into Gods hands and let the Lord deal with him. Get yourself help live with your friends or parents take the children with you if you have them, he will beg and plead with you don't listen or you will be right back in the same mess take the hard line for you and your children. Remember you struggle against spiritual principalities and powers that have existed long before you or I came into being. Let him know that he needs to get professional help from a psychologist and clergyman if he wants to have a rewarding life back with you and the Lord, he can win this battle this may very well be his testimony that will eventually help others but for now you need to think about yourself !
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